Monday, May 15, 2006

Idle musings on an idle sunday morning....

I never can understand how people can sleep on for hours on Sunday, that too, in summer, when, the moment it is past 6AM or max 7AM, the bed sheet turns hostile and unfriendly and almost scalding hot. Anyways, as I opened the Sunday paper, I understood that there are more things, which I can never understand like, this article in the TOI, Sunday Timeslife! : 'Girls just wanna have fun!'.
In a nutshell the article was about how girls nowadays are choosing to have sexual relationships, of a few days or months, without emotions and commitment, and how they want to have all the fun they can before they 'settle down' with a guy of their choice or their parent's choice. It saddened me, puzzled me but did not surprise me, because one of my friends had already filled me in about this new 'development' on the social front just a few days back. He was talking about girls who did not want commitment, did not want possessiveness from their boyfriends and were generally happy 'dating', which included sex, among other activities, and in many cases, these girls dated married men too, both sides getting what they want - some company for going out, dinners, coffee, and finally sex, with no strings attached.
When I said that I don't think too highly of such girls, he said, 'Isn't that the trend nowadays?' to which I replied, 'Does that make them more 'respectable'?' to which I would have got the obvious answer that I am a prude and also might have been told 'grapes are sour' if his chivalry had not reared its head at that precise moment.
Which made me realize that I should not comment on things that I don't know about.
Which also made me think why I cannot accept a seemingly 'harmless' pastime which has benefits like both sides becoming confident about themselves, lack of heartbreaks as both sides knew what they were getting into, balancing the power equation between both genders as it is no longer the prerogative of guys to get into a relationship just to be able to get the girl to bed (that did not speak well of the guys anyway), etc. etc. I started to feel that there is a real good reason why poeple don't get up before 9 on sundays, and the reason is that their brains don't start working before that time.
Then, I realized that I was not really a prude but a romantic fool....not sure if being one is better than being the other! What brought about this realization was nothing more important than a small ad on the TV - the ad for the cold drink 'Slice' where they show the guy and the girl growing up together, the guy always up to his pranks which are aimed solely to trouble the girl and finally the guy proposing to the girl by putting the ring into a bottle of Slice and getting being very apprehensive when she looks at him with a question on her face....the smile starts almost imperceptibly....
What's life without these special moments, which touch the heart?
What are a few doses of adrenaline compared to a few moments of warmth like these, which we would like to remember throughout our life and would want to guard as a precious gift?
Do people, girls and guys alike, who are having 'fun' all the while, have any such moments, which they want to remember? Maybe something someone spoke which made the rest of the day pass like a dream? Or some stolen moments while in a group in which you knew that the other person's smiles were solely reserved for you and the others present were no longer important? Or do they have only fun moments, like I do as in partying at a friend's place or an energetic weekend at some water park, which they would want to 'plan' out again?
Worse, is sex, bereft of emotion, really complete if it does not touch all your senses? And if it does touch all your senses, is the relationship still casual - doesn't it promt you to take it up further? Or do you simply refuse to acknowledge what your body tells you because you are in 'no mood to settle down so soon'? Aren't you losing out an opportunity to perhaps 'hold' on to someone just because you had 'decided' that you won't be 'held back'?
For some of course, there is the 'dare' factor, the flouting of social rules, the heady push by rebelling against set norms...I agree. Daring to do something against convention is always a turn-on. So, how about daring to be different from your group and really 'love' a person? How about daring to embark on a life's adventure by getting to know something as precious as a 'person' - what makes him smile, sad, angry and what makes you feel the way you do about him?
Wishful thinking? You bet! But then, if US teenagers can come full circle and start thinking about boring things like emotions, commitment, respect, etc. then Indian teenagers might just be going through what the US teens went through say 20-30 years in another 20-30 years we might see our teens coming full circle....because every race goes through a series of changes, so it should happen for India too, if we are not to become stagnant.
Should stop here, lest my comments become too one-sided....I personally believe opinions need to be given in a way so that they start 'open' discussions, not 'defensive' or 'offensive' ones...:)


Blogger Tanushree said...

Woah, woah! Timeout here! What makes you think that if there is no commitment there is no romance involved? Just because two people do not want to spend the rest of their lives together does not mean that the time they do have together is not meaningful. And why should someone wait to explore their sexuality, just because they are not ready to enter into a committed relationship.

You say "Or do you simply refuse to acknowledge what your body tells you because you are in 'no mood to settle down so soon'?" But I ask you, should you simply refuse your body its needs till you are 28-30 and ready to get married, just because it ought to be "with the right person"?

What looks like a fling to one may be a deeply cherished relationship to the people who are living it. So let us not judge relationships based on how long they last!

Mon May 15, 08:04:00 AM  
Blogger Aparna said...

Correct....what i meant was not 'how long relationshps last' but why they started in the first place?
There are relationsips which start but not remain forever, and yeah, they leave meories which you cherish even if you move on.
This post was not about those relationships.

This post was totally about those people who are not into any 'realtionship' but just having sex on appointment. If the quality is good, they may repeat the partner, or else they move on. It is not at all like 'let's see if our relationship works', it is more like 'I am not thinking beyond this weekend, can we hook up for sex?'

I hope I have now amde myself clear...actually maybe it would have been clearer if I could post the link, but could not get it...maybe you should read up the sunday timeslife.

Mon May 15, 08:18:00 AM  
Blogger Tanushree said...

maybe you should read up the sunday timeslife.
Yeah I would have, but my paper got wet while filling up the cooler on sunday morning and I did not get to read anything other than the front page headlines!

Mon May 15, 08:20:00 AM  
Blogger Anshuman Ghosh said...

here is the link to the article -

Tue May 16, 03:16:00 AM  
Blogger Aparna said...

Thanks a lot angshuman, now have put in the link.

Tue May 16, 04:55:00 AM  
Blogger Siddharth Razdan said...

Very well said Aparna. I support you in full.
You've been linked.

(Siddharth Razdan)

Fri May 19, 01:36:00 AM  
Blogger Anshuman Ghosh said...

Mon May 22, 12:03:00 AM  
Blogger Anshuman Ghosh said...

Sat May 27, 03:45:00 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home