Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Parenthood - the already parents

Reading the comments on my previous post gives me an impression that the readers think that I am against kids.
Well, to clarify, I am not against kids, parents of kids, people who choose to have kids, and any such person who are positive towards 'kidding'. My intention was to simply open up an area which people think as abnormal, that of childless but happy families. Of course, I assumed that the side effect will be to get people to think that kids are not the end of the world, or rather not having one or not choosing to have one, is not the end of the world.
Following which, this also implies, that I am not against kids at all, or spending time and money on them...hell, I would myself have done that if I had any myself (kids, that is), and I know that because I have played a not so small a hand in partly spoiling (as concluded by my mom) my otherwise excellent siblings. But then, I don't want to go down in dumps for not having kids to spoil or take care of.... hope the point is taken.
To continue on the same vein, I have found the reaction of already-parents pretty varied on the same topic.
There was this old friend's wife who asked my husband, just after a couple of hours of acquaintance, about 1 and half years back, 'Aren't you guys planning for kids?'.
My husband was totally confused. As such, he is not very eloquent by nature, and to be 'challenged' by a friend’s wife and that too on such a topic, left him speechless.
Her husband saved the situation by commenting, 'If you have not started planning, then please don't...it is enough headache already with ours, you can take ours if you want!!’
Needless to say, the wife was shocked by the irreverence in the tone.

Going by the general habit of Indians to butt in where they should not, I could have gladly generalized that all parents and especially new parents will always be asking questions like this, and try to propagate baby-making in a big way. I am happy that that's not the case.
Take my best friend for instance. I have not seen a better modern mom so far, but when I was discussing the choice of parenthood, her remarks can be summed up as: 'it is totally your call, and trust me, you should just take a decision and not regret later. And that decision should not affect anyone’s, or at least, not my opinion about what type of a person you are. True, I simply love my son and now I don't know what I would have done without him, but when he was not yet come into the world, naturally, you cannot expect me to yearn for him'
And as for her opinion about the situation of childless couples and her thoughts about adoption, etc. she said, 'When you don't have something, how will you know that you are missing it or not? How can you say that adopting a child is less fun that having one born from yourself?'

A refreshing change, given that, she is a full time mom and a good one at that, whose more than 3-year old son is so besotted with her, that he gifts her small flowers.

Wish I met more like her....

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