Thursday, February 06, 2014

The Coping chronicles: Prologue

Being Normal

"I love you," said he, as he leaned forward to catch her eyes when she stepped out of the car.
She collected her bag from the back seat and closed the door. Sensing his eyes still on her, she smiled back. "Yeah, I love you too."
He nodded and drove away.

She slipped her freezing hands into gloves as she walked towards her office building. That was not automatic, she thought. No, it was not. Did he understand? Would he remember, if he understood, that she had told him once that she would never lie to him blatantly? Or would he put it down to her stubborn refusal to forget things  and move on?
She felt her face thawing as she entered the building and walked towards the elevators. It was so much easier to keep doing the same thing, hoping that things would improve, hoping that what was happening, or, as he put it, what had happened, was just a "one-off" incident. Incident - that very word seemed like it happened to other people.
But still, it was also safe to keep to the routine.
There was comfort in routines.
 In not letting on how close to the edge you are...
 Holding on to the things that were normal otherwise...

The laptop monitor lighted up, telling her things that she already knew from her phone. Four meetings, seven mails to reply to, fifteen mails to read and assimilate and file away for reference, three more tasks to complete. It still meant to lot to her -  this job, the perks, the respect...the normalcy. It was ironic - when people said they want an adventure, they want to shake things up, they wished things were not routine, she was sure they did not mean this. Normalcy was so underrated.
Wow, that was a statement. She smiled at her reflection on the dark screen beside the open document and winked at herself. It reminded her of Esha.
Esha - the way she wiggled and twirled to the music, smiling to herself, the way she insisted on something and would not take no for an answer, even if it meant that you gave her grapes before washing them, the way she seemed suddenly vulnerable when she looked at her mother for vulnerable!
Someday...she mumbled to herself...someday everything will be normal.


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